horrid day yesterday

pot luck lunch for the first day of class yesterday.... there is just something about a WHOLE table full of sweets and chocolate and temptation and evilness that just ruins my whole day!!!

I sucked.... bad... I did horribly,... I ate probably 2 whole plates of dessert... I DID start with one whole plate of veggies and healthy stuff... but I couldn't help going back for sweets :(

I feel sick today.... almost like a hangover... so I am going to have a cleansing day and try to not eat very much.... we shall see

sigh....

I logged 2800 cals....

my goal was 2500 so I overshot by a little bit.... I am going to be hungry later too.... because it is only 6 pm and I know it... so I guess I am going to drink some WATER and maybe just have a sugar free jello later :(

I haven't met my water goal.... I have had 32 oz... so... two more bottles before bed :)

10000 steps

so.... I kinda guestimated my steps because my pedometer was broken for the month of april and most of may... and I have had a serious illness that has lasted since feb... and I had surgery in may... so I am no where NEAR my goals for this year.... BUT... I just want to take a look at this... I am nearing 7 million steps... I have never done 7 million of ANYTHING!!!!

I was feeling very down on myself because my last weigh in was 313... official weighin tomorrow... and I am hoping I am down... and I was feeling horrid... I was 345 when diagnosed with diabetes in April 2004... I am offically at a loss of 32#... I had gotten all the way down to 269 as of summer of 2007 but I have gained it almost all back.... I am very sad and upset and down and urg...

but... I got the new pedometer battery.....

I have all of the bits and pieces that I need to put together this puzzle... EVEN will power... there is not some sort of clue... there is no magic pill or powder or diet or wand or potion... there is just me and just God...

I am reminded of one of my favorite scenes from a movie... Where Vizzini and the Man in Black are finally together and Vizzini says "So, it is down to you and me then." Truley it is... it is down to me and food...

well I have spent the last four years building up an immunity to iocane powder... and now comes the time to use it....

Goals for this upcoming week
chart all food at http://fitday.com/
limit intake to 25k cals per day
h20 96 oz per day
no real fitness goals this week as I am still recouperating from surgery

I would like to be below 290 by my birthday in 59 days.... thats 23# in almost 3 months... 12 weeks.... or almost 2# per week... given that I am feeling MUCH better... I can do it....

goals

goals for this week are simple... I intend to not pass out :)

recovery is going well... yesterday I walked around walmart... well not AROUND per se... but I did go in and get my stuff and not use the wheelie cart!!!

so yesterday I got 3k steps

my plan is to decrease food this week... rest as much as possible... no workout goals... classes start tuesday... and I HAVE to be ready!!

well.... update

Alrighty then... the sinus infection from hell lingered... I had surgery on 12 May to clean out my sinuses and everything... hoping that I will start feeling better soon... I am feeling slightly excited because I looked at my last weight (310.2) and I have only gained 2.5# with being on prednisone for basically 4 months straight...

So I am at 312.7... and I have only worked out 4 times since the beginning of Feb... but I am feeling better... and should be able to start working out again next week... it all depends... because right now I am extremely tired just to sit in a chair... let alone work out...

time for a nap